


I don't think I can let go (the demons still haunt me)

by catem



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Abuse, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Cheryl has PTSD from her relationship with Nick, Cheryl has a five year old daughter named Charlotte, F/F, Love, Soft af, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, toni is a huge softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 23:43:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20554646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catem/pseuds/catem
Summary: Running away from her husband was something that Cheryl never thought she would do, but she had no choice. Cheryl wouldn't put her or her daughter's lives at risk any longer.She had a plan and she promised herself that she would follow it.1. Move to Riverdale2. Buy a moderate sized house3. Keep a low profile.4. Don't get attached to anyone. They'll only be hurt if you are found.Number 4 becomes hard for Cheryl when she meets Toni Topaz, a Southsider who captures her heart in a way she'd never expect.





	I don't think I can let go (the demons still haunt me)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this book! I promise I will update Control soon, but it's been busy with college so updates might be spaced out.

TONI’s POV

I remember when I first saw Cheryl Blossom.

It was 12pm on a Friday. I was sitting at a booth in Pop’s with my chocolate milkshake going over Serpent plans with Jughead when I heard the ding of the doorbell. A girl had entered the establishment rather quickly, looking around urgently as if she was expecting someone. She had a gorgeous face with plump red lips and brown doe eyes. She had brown hair tied up in a bun and a large pair of glasses on her face. She wore black blouse, a pair of jeans, and a pair of red high heels, an unusual combination. As I watched her, she walked up to the counter and began to talk to Pop Tate.

“Who is she?” I asked Jughead curiously. Riverdale was a small town so all of the locals knew each other pretty well. Especially after the whole Northside and Southside feud had dissolved. I also knew that if I had seen a girl as pretty as her, I definitely would have remembered her.

“I don’t know. She’s probably new to town.” Jughead admitted curiously watching the beauty at the counter as he sipped his vanilla milkshake. My eyes were focused on her too. She talked to Pop nonchalantly with a neutral face not seeming to exude any particular emotion. That was definitely curious. Pop Tate kept talking to her with his genuine, loving smile on full display, but all he got from her was a fleeting grin that went away as quickly as it came. 

I stood up with my eyes still focused on her. “I’m going to introduce myself to her and welcome her to Riverdale. She probably doesn’t know many people yet and I could help her learn her way around town.” I rambled on.

Jughead looked at me with knowing eyes and a large smirk. “Sure, good luck.” I rolled my eyes at him and walked up to the front counter. As I got closer to the counter, the girl turned towards me with nervous eyes and quickly looked towards the ground. “Hello Toni, do you need anything?” Pop gently asked with his signature smile on his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself to the lovely lady who I assume is new to town.” I stated with a slight smirk as the girl blush at my words.

“She is!” Pop declared with a large grin on his face. “Toni, this is Jane Turner, she moved here a week ago. Jane, this is Toni Topaz, one of my favorite regulars!” I grinned back at Pop as Jane just froze, staring at me as if she was in shock. She slowly regains her composure and slides her glasses back, taking a step towards me. “Nice to meet you, Toni.” Jane stated with a small grin that quickly faded after she spoke. We just awkwardly stood there watching each other until Pop spoke.

“I’m going to fix up your order, Jane.” Pop stated adjusting his apron. “Toni, why don’t you keep Jane company while I’m cooking?” I nodded. “Sure, Pop.”

“So..where did you move from?” I asked trying to rid the air of the awkwardness surrounding us.  
“New York City.” Jane curtly responded adjusting her glasses once again. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What made you want to move to a small, boring town like Riverdale? No offense, but this place suck.” I asked trying to understand the appeal of moving from a bustling, exciting city to Shit Town, USA.

“It’s small, but it’s got its perks.“ Jane replied with a simple shrug.

“What ‘perks’?” I asked, curious of what possibly could make someone enjoy Shit Town.

“A beautiful river to watch the sunrise or sunset. Everything around here is walking distance; in a city like NYC, everything is scattered around.” Jane replied with irritation present in her eyes. “Down-to-earth people. No one here is famous, or looking to become big. It’s nice. It’s peaceful-”

“It’s boring.” I interjected with a smirk on my face. “But I guess to some people, it has its charms.”

“Why do you dislike this town so much?” Jane questioned adjusting her glasses as she waited for an answer.

“It’s small, offering no real opportunities for anyone. Most people who are born here, die here. Everyone wishes to escape and most get trapped working long hours at minimum wage.” I replied with a clear disdain. 

“It’s amusing that you are so blunt about your feelings about this town. Everyone else keeps telling me about the splendor that is Riverdale.” Jane stated with a small chuckle. “I am curious though. Do you find yourself to be one of the trapped, Miss Topaz?” Jane asked curiously as she crossed her arms.

“My family has lived here for generations. It seems as though it is my destiny.” I replied putting my hands on my hips.

Jane gave me a sad grin. “If you keep that mindset, then you truly are stuck.”

“How about you, Miss Turner? Why do you dislike New York City?” I asked as Pop Tate walked out with a paper bag of food.

“I guess you’ll never know.” Jane replied with a smug smile as she grabbed her bag and turned towards the door.

“Hey wait!” I called out to her before she could put her hand on the doorknob. “Yes?” She asked as she crossed her arms with that smirk still on her face.“Can I have your number?” Jane’s face visibly paled and I began to backtrack. “I mean so I can show you around town sometime. I’m not asking you out or anything I just want-” 

“I guess you can have the honor of being one of the lucky few with my number.” Jane stated pretending to think about it. “Hand me your phone.” I took my phone out of my pocket and gave it to Jane. She quickly typed her number in, never taking her eyes off of me.

“Bye Toni.” Jane softly said as she handed me my phone. She turned away and quickly exited the diner.

CHERYL’S POV

I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have given in to my temptations. I can’t get attached to anyone around here. He could find us at any second. I thought to myself as I walked towards my minivan. I scanned my surroundings before I got into the vehicle. I was still so used to being watched.

I started the engine, not taking another look at the diner as I drove out of the parking lot. I thought back to my conversation with Toni. She was certainly refreshing for me especially since the only female companionship that I’ve had for the past six years has been with stuck-up snobs. She also seemed genuinely interested in me and didn’t seem to want anything from me, which was also unusual. Fake people had always been the norm. 

I also she was beautiful with her gorgeous complexion, tanned skin, and brunette hair with pink streaks. But I knew I couldn’t act on my instant attraction to her. I would just have to admire her from afar. I couldn’t put myself or my daughter at risk. I would die before I let him get his hands on my daughter.

I pulled into the elementary school parking lot and parked my car, waiting to hear the ring of the school bell. I was told, to my frustration, that I was unable to enter the school until the school day officially ended. I had argued with the office lady at the front desk incessantly, but unfortunately, she would not budge. I couldn’t tell her or make her understand my situation, make her understand that my husband could find us and pick up my daughter if he got to her first. So I just gave the lady a tight-lipped nod and stormed out of the office.

After about ten minutes of silence, the school bell rang and I jumped out of my car and rushed into the elementary school building. I quickly walked into the cafeteria and urgently scanned the room for my daughter.

“Mommy!” I heard my daughter cry out with excitement. Relief flooded my body.

“Lottie!” I exclaimed in response as I turned to face her. I kneeled down onto the ground and she ran into my outstretched arms. She was safe. Thank god. Lottie smiled up at me. 

Luckily, Lottie had not inherited much from her father, only his curly hair and blue eyes. She had my red hair, and much of my complexion. Lottie, however, didn’t have any of my attitude. She was very well-behaved and shy around most people; she seemed to only display her energetic side around me.

“How was your day sweetheart?” I affectionately asked Lottie as I kissed the top of her head.

“Fun! We learned about animals. I loved the baby bunnies the most! They were definitely the cutest!” Lottie stated with a smile as I stood up and took her hand. 

“That’s great! I’m glad you had fun! I personally love serpents. They are stealthy and intelligent.” 

“Snakes are scary and gross.” Lottie said with a shudder.

“Well don’t you worry. I’ll protect you from any serpent.” I stated as we arrived at the car. Lottie quickly hopped in the back and I got into the driver’s seat. I made sure Lottie was situated on her booster seat and then started the car.

“Mommy?” Lottie asked as I began to pull out of the parking spot.

“Yes baby?” I replied as I drove out of the school parking lot and onto the road.

“Can we go to Pop’s? I really want a milkshake.” Lottie asked enthusiastically.

“I’ll tell you what darling. If you behave yourself for the rest of the week, we can go to Pop’s on Saturday.” I stated as I continued to focus on the road.

“Yay! Thanks Mommy!” Lottie replied excitedly before giving her attention to the open road. I grinned at my daughter’s giddiness. My little angel was so excited when she saw that Pop’s sold milkshakes. She was determined to try every flavor.

After a ten minute drive, I pulled the car into the driveway of our new house. Lottie jumped out of the car and ran to the front door.

“Hurry, Mommy!” She called out as I exited the car. “I need to check on Bubbles! I want to make sure he wasn’t lonely during my first day at school!”

Bubbles was an angelfish that I had gotten for Lottie when we moved to Riverdale. She had wanted a pet since she was three, but Nick hated animals and never let Lottie have one. When we moved to Riverdale, I decided that I would let her start with a pet fish as it would be easy to take care of and it would help teach her basic responsibility.  
“Alright sweetheart, hold on a second. I’m coming.” I replied as I locked the car and walked towards the front door.

As soon as I unlocked the door, Lottie rushed into the house. “Bubbles!” She yelled as she ran up the stairs. I smiled as I watched her carefree spirit. Thank god her father didn’t get the chance to take that away from her.

I followed her up the stairs and went into her room. Lottie was standing on her tiptoes dropping fish food into Bubbles’ aquarium. She had been sprinkling fish food for thirty seconds when I stopped her.

“I think he has enough food.” I remarked as I went up to her and took the food container from her hand.

“He’s a growing fish. He needs food.” Lottie argued back looking at me with a pout.

“If he’s overfed, he might become overweight and that isn’t healthy for a fish darling. I stated as I knelt down and began softly running fingers through Lottie’s hair. I loved this girl with everything in me.

“Do you miss home?” I asked as I continued combing through Lottie’s hair with my fingers.

“I miss home, it was nicer than this place. But I don’t miss Daddy. He made you cry.” Lottie bluntly replied as her blue eyes gazed at me questioningly as I gazed at her shocked. “Do you miss Daddy?” Lottie innocently asked me.

“No, I don’t.” I stated, still a bit shocked that she had heard me after my “talks” with Nick. “Didn’t I tell you to put your headphones on whenever I needed to talk with Daddy?” Lottie looked towards the ground.

“I took them off because I needed to use the restroom. You told me to never bring the tablet with me to the bathroom. I didn’t hear much, I promise. Just Daddy screaming and you crying.” Lottie guiltily answered. My heart panged with sadness and guilt for my daughter. She shouldn’t have had to hear that. She shouldn’t have been a part of that. I kissed her forehead and lifted her head.

“It’s alright baby. Come on let’s go watch some Sesame Street!” I said to relieve her mind of those memories. Lottie nodded her head eagerly and began to run towards the door.

“I’m coming Elmooooo” Lottie yelled as she ran out of her bedroom towards the stairs.”

“Be careful sweetie!” I shouted out smiling at my daughter’s cuteness. I was glad that Nick hadn’t taken her smile away from her. I was glad that it was me who faced him everyday. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if he hurt Lottie.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed the first chapter!


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